Algunas reglas para escribir

Leyendo las reglas para escribir ficción (el enlance está a la derecha) me llamaron la atención las siguientes:

"You can never read your own book with the innocent anticipation that comes with that first delicious page of a new book, because you wrote the thing. You've been backstage. You've seen how the rabbits were smuggled into the hat. Therefore ask a reading friend or two to look at it before you give it to anyone in the publishing business. This friend should not be someone with whom you have a ­romantic relationship, unless you want to break up".

¿Por qué carajos no me di cuenta de lo último antes?

Esta otra:

"You most likely need a thesaurus, a rudimentary grammar book, and a grip on reality. This latter means: there's no free lunch. Writing is work. It's also gambling. You don't get a pension plan. Other people can help you a bit, but ­essentially you're on your own. ­Nobody is making you do this: you chose it, so don't whine."

There is no free lunch. Ok. Supongo que es una buena oportunidad para bajar de peso

"Do not place a photograph of your ­favourite author on your desk, especially if the author is one of the famous ones who committed suicide"

Así el autor no se haya suicidado, no me parece adecuado, menos si ha escrito más de 15 libros excelentes y si a tu edad ya era un éxito rotundo.

"Do, occasionally, give in to temptation. Wash the kitchen floor, hang out the washing. It's research."

Ya me lo decía mi madre.

"Don't write in public places. In the early 1990s I went to live in Paris. The usual writerly reasons: back then, if you were caught writing in a pub in England, you could get your head kicked in, whereas in Paris, dans les cafés . . . Since then I've developed an aversion to writing in public. I now think it should be done only in private, like any other lavatorial activity"

Por eso estoy sola.

"Only bad writers think that their work is really good."

Esta regla es absolutamente cierta.

"You can also do all that with whiskey."

Lo intenté pero no me gustó, prefiero kif y una taza de té. Ademas la idea de convertirme en una alcohólica anónima no me estimula más que la idea de convertirme en una escritora famosa.

"Remember, if you sit at your desk for 15 or 20 years, every day, not ­counting weekends, it changes you. It just does. It may not improve your temper, but it fixes something else. It makes you more free."

Si, también puede hacerte más gorda y más encorvada.

"Don't have children."

Ni mascotas, ni plantas, evita cualquier compromiso, así tendrás todo el tiempo para escribir.

"Don't write letters to the editor. (No one cares.)"

Ni te acuestes con él.

"Don't wish ill on your colleagues."

Así ellos te lo deseen a tí.

"It's doubtful that anyone with an internet connection at his workplace is writing good fiction".
"Find your best time of the day for writing and write. Don't let anything else interfere. Afterwards it won't matter to you that the kitchen is a mess"
Me gusta esta regla.
"Remember: when people tell you something's wrong or doesn't work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong"
Así es.
"Laugh at your own jokes."
Especialmente si nadie más lo hace.
"Write only when you have something to say."
Para tener algo que decir hay que vivir, así es que de vez en cuando es bueno dejar de escribir y salir de la casa.
"Jokes are like hands and feet for a painter. They may not be what you want to end up doing but you have to master them in the meanwhile."
En esta fase estoy yo.
"Read widely and with discrimination. Bad writing is contagious."
Para terminar esta de Philip Pullman:

My main rule is to say no to things like this, which tempt me away from my proper work.
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